Better days ahead (chemo 1a, day 4)

This quote brings tears to my eyes, especially today where I am having an exceptionally craptastic day.  My mouth is killing me and even milkshakes are almost torture to drink. I did not sleep last night AT ALL and I have crazy flu like symptoms and body aches accompanied by chills. I keep checking to see if I have a fever and it never is over 99 degrees. I am hoping for a better day tomorrow.

mouth sores

My mouth hurts so bad! Which I was told was a side effect, but I had no clue it would be this .... intense! My jaws hurt, my throat hurts, my ears hurt...I can't even drink water without wanting to cry. How will I get through this?!!

My first chemo! (Chemo1a, days 1&2)

I am soo tired!!!

 Before my treatment, I met with my oncologist and he went over the results of my scan last week. Nodular sclerosis Hodgkin lymphoma stage IIa. He said I'm technically a IIIa because of a small mass in my abdomen, but he isn't sure exactly (?!) and it doesn't effect my recommended course of treatment. My oncologist is great, he really is...he just... seems like he is more interested in talking about good food/wine rather than my cancer. It doesn't really bug me because he does answer my questions when I have them, He's odd.
I LOVE MY PORT! I had some issues with the surgical tape they used after the procedure and I am still pretty red and itchy around my neck and chest, so I was afraid they would say that I was unable to use it for the bloodwork/chemo...but they said the port itself looks "beautiful" and had no issues accessing it. I was so happy and so were the infusion nurses!
Chemo wasn't all that bad as far as being scary like I had pictured it in my head...once all the preliminary stuff was taken care of, I was actually surprised how quickly the infusion went. The bleomycin  made me feel a little shaky, but it wasn't too bad as I was pretty much in naptime land from the benaydrl(sp) I was given before the infusion started. I left hospital feeling fine! Unfortunately for me that changed pretty quickly and have had "issues" since. I took a nap last night and woke up having to throw up but I quickly took a Compazine and I felt okay shortly thereafter. I have also went to the bathroom at least 7 times in the last 24 hours with "the runs"....never got the infamous red pee from the adriamycin  I'm super tired and even typing this I struggle to keep my eyes open. I have ZERO desire to eat, but think I'm going to be forced to eat a little something after awhile.
 

Cheese :D

Power Port

Well, my port is in!!

 

Scan & test

I had my PFT and my PET scan done today....

PFT (Basically how it went)

PET scan This one is a little silly in the beginning and I don't remember the scanner being that noisy, but this is essentially how today went for me.

Not feeling well, just feeling rundown and exhausted

ABVD Chemotherapy

My oncologist is recommending 6 cycles of ABVD treatment (each cycle is 2 treatments, every two weeks) followed by possible radiation.

Here is a really informative link on the ABVD regimen
ABVD Chemotherapy

Feeling lucky

Scheduling scans, biopsies, chemo's, and ports...oh my! I can't get over the relief I feel now that my first oncology appointment is finished and the doctor is totally someone I can trust and get along with...especially as long as I had to wait for an appointment with him. He WILL cure me of my cancer!  Let's get the show started! I'm feeling pretty lucky today.

I have....CANCER!

The results are in, I have Hodgkin's lymphoma.
I'd like to think that the diagnosis today didn't come as a complete surprise, but I was hoping for a different outcome...I went into the clinic knowing very well the likelihood of my diagnosis, but as my doctor sat down...shook my hand, and told me that I did in fact have cancer...it was like somebody threw a bag of bricks at my chest and knocked the wind out of me...Cancer is such a scary ...word, and the unknown terrifies me. I am ready though, and thankful to being treated at Kentucky's only NCI approved center and thankful of the support of my loved ones.
I am now waiting for PET scans and a bone marrow biopsy to complete the staging process so we can then discuss treatment options.
....my road ahead appears to be a rocky one, but I know that I will do my best to stay strong, positive, and keep my sense (sometimes sick!) of humor...What's done is done and there's absolutely no benefit of me being angry or feeling sorry for myself. My kids need me to get through this, my friends need me to get through this, and *I* need to get through this..
....here goes!

Biopsy complete

This is me a few days ago. I took this picture so people could see how big Mr. Lumpy has gotten (he's the giant protruding thing coming from my neck right below my right ear :P)

This is me moments away from my "IV margarita" and about an half hour before the biopsy began...You can't tell, but I really am scared here.

And here is my nifty scar! (only few hours after biopsy was complete) Was a lot bigger than I had anticipated.

Results should be in next week

Surgical biopsy scheduled

ENT appointment today was brief....he basically just repeated what my Dr had told me a few days ago, but he wouldn't mention anything about lymphoma.

I will have a node removed and biopsied on November 8th, which he made my decision to have done.
Does that mean he doesn't think I have cancer??

I don't know what to think. I just want answers.

Freaked out

Freaking out!

My general physician just called and wanted to tell me the results of my needle biopsy/CT scans

Biopsy came back negative

CT scans both suggest lymphoma.

She said that I more than likely have lymphoma, but isn't too worried given my age and my health. She said that my ENT will more than likely order a surgical biopsy to confirm the diagnosis.

I am an emotional wreck...I just can't have cancer! How? Why?

I see the ENT in a few days...I'm so scared.

ENT, Fine needle biopsies, CT scans, Oh My!

Nurse at today's CT scan had trouble getting an IV started but was "thankful" that my arm was "nice to look at"

I was at the hospital all day today and I'm exhausted, so I'm going to make this brief.. .
ENT appointment was intense.  They did an entire physical exam, throat & nose scope, and a fine needle biopsy .(with no anesthesia  , which I don't ever recommend) They asked me if I had night sweats, fevers, or weight loss....Doctor was thorough but not really willing to tell me his opinions on my lumps...which, for me is frustrating because I like to know everything :)

CT scan was a PAIN. My general family physician had ordered the chest CT last week and then the ENT ordered a neck CT today, my insurance did not have approval for the neck CT so I waited forever for them to fix it. Nurse had trouble getting an IV started and scan went relatively quick....

Lessons learned today: Biopsies suck, waiting forever for 2 CT scans gets old, (3hrs seems like forever while fasting) and it makes a world of difference when the medical staff you're dealing with treats you with kindness and respect and maybe even appreciates your crazy warped sense of humor and understands that you're just a tiny bit nervous and anxious...,Was an intense day, but a good day, and now I will get answers, and that's the most important thing....which, good news or bad...is a relief in itself.

tests and more tests

Nurse practitioner called me with results of tests done earlier this week.

All blood work is "within normal ranges", but chest X-ray shows small nodules.

I feel relief because I assume that my blood work would be "off" if I in fact had the "C word", but scared that chest x-ray was abnormal.

Chest CT and appointment with ENT Monday

Mr Lumpy here to stay?

Well...today sucked.
First of all, my doctor couldn't make today's appointment, so sent the nurse practitioner in her place. Said that results of ultrasound were inconclusive and required more attention due to the fact that "Mr. Lumpy" is still there and slightly bigger.

Blood work and chest x-ray ordered. I'm really freaked out and assuming the worst.

"of no concern"

Local hospital where I had ultrasound done at said that my swollen nodes were of "no concern....should disappear on its own"

RELIEF!  Maybe this is auto-immune? Follow up Appointment with Dr.  Bennett October 9th

Scolded by doctor

Well....I'm scared.
I went to Doctor today for prescription refill and the first thing out of Dr. Bennett's mouth was:

"Jennifer! Your neck! Why have you not been back in to see me?!"

Apparently I had a huge golf ball sized lump displaying itself from my neck and Doctor was very concerned since my nodes had visibly grown since my last appointment in July.

Now those of you reading this may be thinking "How in the hell do you not notice a huge lump hanging out on your neck?!" My only answers are this: I don't know how I did not notice. Chris had a heart attack, my kids were just starting back to school, etc....the lump was OBVIOUS. I became obsessed with it once I KNEW it was there...checking mirror several times a day.

Ultrasound scheduled for September 17th.

swollen nodes.

So this is where my journey begins...Wednesday, July 3rd I visit my primary physician for a routine pap smear. Doctor notices swollen lymph nodes on right side and is immediately concerned. I dismiss this due to the fact I had just got over being ill.