Staying strong? (Chemo 1b, day 23)

Today I'm going to rant. I'm sick of this crap already only two treatments in. I have zero appetite, my muscles hurt (pain like I've never had before...even with my issues regarding my CP), nausea, and mouth sores...I have emotional issues where I'm either an irritable ball of nerves or I'm weeping over silly stuff that normally wouldn't have phased my world. My hair is falling out to the point where my hair is so thin that you can see my scalp in places and I'm getting ready to shave it down to nothing even though I'm nervous about how I'm going to feel being bald. My body is feeling the chemo this time, that's for sure.

 Even though I know intentions are well meaning, Today I'm pissed off that I hear "stay strong" ...Stay strong you say? What does staying strong look like? I'm doing what I have to do and what most people would do in my position at my age...you keep going. I go to my treatments, deal with side effects,  and attempt to live my life as normally as I am able to. But who wouldn't?! I have days where I'm so scared and frightened about not yet being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel and then I have days where I feel like I can kick this cancer crap with no problem. I'm the girl who would never take antibiotics and now I'm willingly getting chemotherapy treatment knowing very well what kind of drugs are entering my body. I do not feel strong nor do I feel awesome...I'm just doing what I have to do to be able to live out my life. It sucks, but this was in my cards and I'm playing out my hand sometimes showing my best poker face, sometimes not...I'm just me. ...dealing with cancer and some days are easier than others and some situations suck more than others...it's the way it is and I'm doing the best I can-for whatever it may be worth.